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  • Writer's pictureCoulee Flats Dairy

National Milk Day Thoughts: Getting Petty with Nut Juice


It's National Milk Day! Woot! Of course we dairy farmers celebrate milk everyday in a hands on, it's our whole life kind of way. And we know most of you do too, in an understated splash in the old bowl of cereal or dunk of a cookie style. If this is just another day of us milking, feeding, and taking care of cows and you splashing, chugging, and dunking, this is a pretty great day.

But since this feels like our day, we're going to use it to get thoughtfully petty about all of those milk imposters filling up the fridge isle. Yeah, we said it, imposters. Because just because it's white and it's called "_______ Milk", doesn't make it milk. In fact, what if color and nomenclature is where the similarities between cow's milk and these other beverages pretty much starts and ends?

From the farm to table process to nutrition of milk versus these other beverages, there are more differences than similarities. I mean, if cows could get offended, they'd probably be offended that these knockoffs hope people look at the word milk and assume they contain the rival amounts of protein, calcium and vitamins that we drink milk to get into our bellies and our bodies in the first place. But, they simply don't. Who knows, if cows were prone to fickle human feelings, they might just be flattered by the imitation.

This is #23543. She is not impressed with nut juice. Or she's flattered. We'll never know.

Speaking of imitation, word on the street is that there's barely enough almonds in the stuff to even call it that. If nut juice isn't even nut juice, it's no wonder that all we can trust in this crazy mixed up world is eachother, and our love for cows.

All this considered, let the record show we are pretty zen about there being choices in the marketplace. We get that dairy milk is not the best choice for a small fraction of people who are allergic or legit intolerant, and those people deserve something better than sweet tea, orange juice or water to pour on cereal or dunk a cookie in. We just hope they are getting the nutrients they need from other sources, because while these beverages market as alternatives to milk, taste decent in meals and recipes that call for milk, and there's probably some good stuff up in there, they just don't stack up to what our cows offer on the nutrition side.

So if you MUST order that half almond-half coconut milk-split-shot-fair trade-sugar-free-extra foam cappuccino to impress the male barista you have a crush on, do it. But consider it a swap for an afternoon Diet Coke, not a nutritious glass vitamin A&D fortified protein and calcium. And just kidding, he probably hates that convoluted order.

Cathartic snark aside, we're just really proud of our work and what our cows bring to the table. Here are five things about milk that we're celebrating today, and we hope you are too!

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